lonely girl :(

I have recently found myself oddly sad and lonely. like to the depressed state...and i've been trying soooooo hard to not think of it and try to avoid it but it seems as it won't go away. Like no matter how hard I try to feel good on the inside, I just can't accomplish it. it seems as though no matter how many people i have around me the intensity of the loneliness in which i feel takes over and leaves me with more sadness than happiness. I don't know how to suppress these feelings...I don't know how to overcome them.. I did my hair, I went shopping, I went out with friends but nothing is working this time. This time I am feeling it and don't know how to even hide it from myself.   

Make every lesson fun :)

I've recently been told that I'm emo :/ Didn't quite understand it when I heard it until I actually thought about it. This is a new friend that I have recently made and just like that he said, 'It's either i'm boring or you're emo!' I was confused at the moment, thinking...how weird is that because I'm really not emo (I think)...Then it hit me! I am....Well indirectly of course...Only in thought. I go around on average day happy and fun, but when u speak to me, I don't have much to say, about anything emotional only that is. I don't get personal, I block that part of me out. That was the moment that I realized that I have not been letting anyone get close to me, I've been pushing out everyone who has been trying to get close to me. Then fell for the wrong guy...yet...it did not hurt when it was proven to me that he is the wrong guy.

I've been recently realizing a lot of things, I wish i could start new and do it all over again with the new knowledge I have gained. Things would be easier that way, but i convince myself that this is only gonna make me stronger. There are so many things I wish I could change, but then I don;t know if it would be great to change it.

So...I'm trying something new...I'm trying to be more open. I'm trying to enhance my personality, trying to turn things around and hoping that the past does not have to much of an effect on my present. I hope that things would be different and that I can make everything fine again...Maybe....Just maybe and hopefully...it will be fun working on this...