New realisation....

Another long day at school at lessons....Endless amouts of work, but the good thing about that is no time for idle thoughts. I do miss him, he was alwayz there and made me smile when work was to much. But now, i make me smile, I make decisions to make myself happy and depend on no one. I think about improving my life and assisting myself in becoming a better person. I am now living my life fo only me and make all my decisions based entirely upon how i feel abou it. I want him back, but I deserve someone who wants me too. I don't deserve wanting someone who doesn't want me (even though he still tells everyone how much he misses and loves me). However, he has a very special place in my heart and i still luv him and I honestly don't think I will ever actually stop lovin him. But I guess we just were not really meant to be as I thought. I guess we don't really have '4eva n alwayz' as we use to say. I hope that he can live with the decision he made and I hope that he will be happy. I will find my happiness elsewhere, I already know where....Within me!